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Private Home Daycares vs Approved/Licensed

July 9, 2021

Why Your Child May not be Ready for Daycare

Readiness for Daycare: Developing the Skills to Succeed

At our daycare, we typically begin accepting children at around two years of age. However, this is not a strict rule. Over the years, we have welcomed some children as young as 18 months who adapted very well to the daycare environment. At the same time, we have had children closer to 30 months who struggled to adjust.

This raises an important question: what makes the difference?

In most cases, the determining factor is not simply age, but whether the child has developed basic coping and independence skills needed for a group childcare environment. Research supports this view — individual differences among children with respect to characteristics like temperament, curiosity, cognitive ability, and gender all influence how children experience child care Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development, meaning two children of the exact same age can have very different outcomes.

Understanding Separation Anxiety

Before discussing coping skills, it helps to understand one of the most common challenges children face at daycare drop-off: separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is a stage in early childhood when a child feels anxious about being apart from their parent or primary caregiver. It’s a completely normal part of development that can start as early as 9 months, and means that your child has formed an attachment to you and misses you. Goddard School

Some kids might go through it later, between 18 months and 2½ years of age. Some never experience it. And for others, certain life stresses can trigger feelings of anxiety about being separated from a parent: a new childcare situation or caregiver, a new sibling, moving to a new place, or tension at home. KidsHealth

Importantly, separation anxiety is not a sign of failure — it reflects healthy bonding. Children who experience moderate separation anxiety often have strong, secure relationships with their families — a positive foundation for future emotional development. Kreative Kids That said, the intensity and duration of the anxiety, and how families and caregivers respond to it, matters greatly for how quickly a child adjusts.

What Are Coping Skills?

Coping skills in young children refer to their ability to:

Show a degree of independence
Interact and share space with other children
Spend time away from their parents
Respond appropriately to other adults who supervise and guide them

Children who have begun developing these skills tend to adjust much more easily to daycare. Those who have not yet developed them may struggle with separation, group activities, or following basic instructions.

Research confirms that these early years are the ideal window for building coping capacity. Ages 3–6 are seen as the most relevant and opportune time for the teaching of coping skills. It is the stage of life when both children, teachers, and parents are receptive to learning and sensitive to developments in the family. Springer

Coping skills and resilience are important all throughout our lives. What we learn in one developmental period helps set the stage for the next. Research shows that being able to emotionally self-regulate is associated with better outcomes across multiple areas of development. Penn State Extension

The Role of Parenting

We provide a number of articles on our website that offer helpful guidance for parents on supporting their child’s development. In many situations where a child has difficulty adjusting to daycare, the issue is not the child’s ability, but rather the habits and expectations that have developed at home.

Some common challenges that can affect a child’s ability to cope in a daycare setting include:

Overly “babying” children, which can delay the development of independence. Research shows that young children exposed to highly controlling parenting were less able to regulate emotions and behaviour by early childhood International School Parent, which makes the transition to a group setting significantly harder.
Encouraging baby-like behaviours rather than recognizing and reinforcing developmental milestones
Avoiding the use of clear boundaries, such as saying “no” when necessary
Allowing children to control situations or decisions that should be guided by parents
Not teaching children to listen to instructions
Frequently giving in to tantrums, which can reinforce those behaviours

The broader research on overprotective parenting backs this up. Over-controlling parents could reduce the sense of autonomy and competence in the child. Children need a certain level of parental control to learn how to be an effective member of society, but they also need autonomy to develop competence and self-sufficiency. PubMed Central

Research shows encouraging independence fosters a child’s self-confidence, resilience, problem-solving ability, and mental health. Michigan Medicine Conversely, when parents step in too quickly or remove all challenge from a child’s experience, they may inadvertently deprive their child of the very practice they need to succeed in a group care environment.

What Parents Can Do to Prepare Their Child

The good news is that daycare readiness can be actively supported at home before the transition begins. Parents can help children learn how to cope with separation anxiety by encouraging independence and self-confidence. Some strategies include practicing being apart outside of daycare drop-off — for example, scheduling play dates with friends outside of the home — and introducing the concept of separating slowly, with short trial runs of fifteen to twenty minutes so your child can see that you will always come back. Goddard School

Once daycare begins, giving your child your full attention during drop-off, being loving and providing affection, and then saying goodbye quickly — despite their antics or cries — builds trust and independence as your child becomes confident in their ability to be without you. HealthyChildren.org Lingering at drop-off, while well-intentioned, tends to extend the distress rather than ease it.

Most children follow predictable adjustment patterns. By weeks four to six, most children establish comfortable routines and demonstrate confidence in their new environment. Morning separations become easier, and children often share positive stories about their daycare experiences. Kreative Kids

The Bigger Picture: Quality and Consistency Matter

It’s also worth noting that daycare quality plays an important role in outcomes. The quality of child care over the first three years of life is consistently associated with children’s cognitive and language development — the higher the quality of child care, the greater the child’s language abilities and cognitive development. Reading Rockets

The main conclusion from research is that the effects of child care are complex and vary primarily as a function of the quality of care provided. Whether child care poses a risk to children, protects them from disadvantaged homes, or promotes good developmental outcomes depends largely on the quality of care. Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development

Children benefit from structure, guidance, and clear expectations — both at home and at daycare. When parents encourage independence, reinforce positive behaviours, and maintain consistent boundaries, children are much more likely to develop the skills needed to succeed in a daycare environment. And when they arrive at daycare having practiced those skills, the transition becomes not just manageable, but an exciting new chapter.

If your child’s separation anxiety is intense and persists beyond four to six weeks without improvement, it is worth speaking with your child’s pediatrician, as a small number of children may experience a more significant form of separation anxiety that benefits from professional support.

Readiness for Daycare: Developing the Skills to Succeed

At our daycare, we typically begin accepting children at around two years of age. However, this is not a strict rule. Over the years, we have welcomed some children as young as 18 months who adapted very well to the daycare environment. At the same time, we have had children closer to 30 months who struggled to adjust.

This raises an important question: what makes the difference?

In most cases, the determining factor is not simply age, but whether the child has developed basic coping and independence skills needed for a group childcare environment.

What Are Coping Skills?

Coping skills in young children refer to their ability to:

Show a degree of independence
Interact and share space with other children
Spend time away from their parents
Respond appropriately to other adults who supervise and guide them

The Role of Parenting

We provide a number of articles on our website that offer helpful guidance for parents on supporting their child’s development. In many situations where a child has difficulty adjusting to daycare, the issue is not the child’s ability, but rather the habits and expectations that have developed at home.

Some common challenges that can affect a child’s ability to cope in a daycare setting include:

Overly babying children, which can delay the development of independence
Encouraging baby-like behaviours rather than recognizing and reinforcing developmental milestones
Avoiding the use of clear boundaries, such as saying “no” when necessary
Allowing children to control situations or decisions that should be guided by parents
Not teaching children to listen to instructions
Frequently giving in to tantrums, which can reinforce those behaviours

Children benefit from structure, guidance, and clear expectations. When parents encourage independence, reinforce positive behaviours, and maintain consistent boundaries, children are much more likely to develop the skills needed to succeed in a daycare environment.

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